AKPOS: Swthrt lets play hide and seek....
EKAETTE: Noooooo, the last time we did, I didn't findyou till Feb 15th.
...................................................................................................................................................................
AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link
.....................................................................................................................................................................
An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa man
were lost in a forest and then captured by
cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the
prisoners that they could live if they pass a
trial. The first step was to go deep into the
forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of
fruits. The three men went their separate ways
to gather fruits.
The Yoruba man came back and said to the
king,”I brought 10 apples.”
Then the king explained the trial to him,”You
have to swallow the fruits without any
expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one,
he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten
berries. When the king explained the trial to
him, he thought to himself that this should be
easy…. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8and on the ninth berry, he
burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heaven
and the Yoruba man asked,”Why did you laugh?
You almost got away with the trial.”
The Igbo man replied,”I couldn’t help it, when I
saw the Hausa man coming with Watermelons!”
....................................................................................................................................................................
An illiterate Father(akpos) with his Educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, Akpos wakes his Son up and asks ” Look up to the sky and tell me what you see?” son: “I see millions of stars.”
Akpos: “What does that tell you son?
Son: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of Galaxies & Planets.”
Akpos slaps Son hard and says, “You idiot! Pesin don thief our Tent
..................................................................................................................................................................
Barrister Akpors who’s gone to the village for Xmas celebration went hunting in a nearby village.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As Barrister Akpors climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.
He responded,
“I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m going in to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied,
“This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
Arrogant Akpors said,
“I am one of the best trial attorneys in this country, and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule.”
Barrister Akpors asked,
“What is the three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied,
“Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
Barrister Akpors quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly walked up to him.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into Akpor’s groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped Akpors’ nose off his face.
Barrister Akpors was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
He eventually summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
“Okay, you old farmer, now it’s my turn.”
The farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up. You can have the duck.”
....................................................................................................................................................................
Akpos got to School late on Monday Morning and his teacher asked; Teacher: Why did u come late to skool?.
Akpos: One man lost 1000 naira note at the Bus Stop.
Teacher: ohhh…I see..were you helping him to look for the money?. Akpos: No!!.. I DEY CRAZE???…Na me stand on top d money since!
...................................................................................................................................................................
EKAETTE: Noooooo, the last time we did, I didn't findyou till Feb 15th.
...................................................................................................................................................................
AKPOS: I Have Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, Yahoo, Tumblr, Msn, Skype and G-Talk.
FRIEND: Dude, do you have a life?
AKPOS: OMG! No! Send me the link
.....................................................................................................................................................................
An Igbo man, a Yoruba man and an Hausa man
were lost in a forest and then captured by
cannibals. The king of the cannibals told the
prisoners that they could live if they pass a
trial. The first step was to go deep into the
forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of
fruits. The three men went their separate ways
to gather fruits.
The Yoruba man came back and said to the
king,”I brought 10 apples.”
Then the king explained the trial to him,”You
have to swallow the fruits without any
expression on your face or you will be killed.
The first apple went in, but on the second one,
he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The Igbo man arrived and showed the king ten
berries. When the king explained the trial to
him, he thought to himself that this should be
easy…. 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8and on the ninth berry, he
burst out in laughter and was killed.
The Yoruba man and Igbo man met in heaven
and the Yoruba man asked,”Why did you laugh?
You almost got away with the trial.”
The Igbo man replied,”I couldn’t help it, when I
saw the Hausa man coming with Watermelons!”
....................................................................................................................................................................
An illiterate Father(Akpos) with his Educated son
An illiterate Father(akpos) with his Educated son went on a camping trip. They set up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, Akpos wakes his Son up and asks ” Look up to the sky and tell me what you see?” son: “I see millions of stars.”
Akpos: “What does that tell you son?
Son: “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of Galaxies & Planets.”
Akpos slaps Son hard and says, “You idiot! Pesin don thief our Tent
..................................................................................................................................................................
Barrister Akpors and the Village Farmer
Barrister Akpors who’s gone to the village for Xmas celebration went hunting in a nearby village.
He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.
As Barrister Akpors climbed over the fence, an elderly gentleman asked him what he was doing.
He responded,
“I shot a duck and it fell in this field, I’m going in to retrieve it.”
The old farmer replied,
“This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”
Arrogant Akpors said,
“I am one of the best trial attorneys in this country, and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything!”
The old farmer smiled and said,
“Apparently, you don’t know how we do things here. We settle small disagreements like this with the Three-Kick Rule.”
Barrister Akpors asked,
“What is the three-Kick Rule?”
The Farmer replied,
“Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up.”
Barrister Akpors quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old farmer.
He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly walked up to him.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into Akpor’s groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick nearly wiped Akpors’ nose off his face.
Barrister Akpors was flat on his belly when the farmer’s third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up.
He eventually summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet and said,
“Okay, you old farmer, now it’s my turn.”
The farmer smiled and said,
“Now, I give up. You can have the duck.”
....................................................................................................................................................................
Akpos got to School late on Monday Morning and his teacher asked; Teacher: Why did u come late to skool?.
Akpos: One man lost 1000 naira note at the Bus Stop.
Teacher: ohhh…I see..were you helping him to look for the money?. Akpos: No!!.. I DEY CRAZE???…Na me stand on top d money since!
...................................................................................................................................................................
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