akpos jokes

A Preacher said: "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewine in the world, I'd take it and throw it in the river". And the congregation cried,"Amen!" "And if I had all thewhiskey and rum in the world, I'd take it all and throw it in the river". Againthe congregation cried,"Amen!"
The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up& said: "For our closing hymn, let's turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, 'We shall drink from that river".
THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!
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A mum was lucky enough tosee her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them "After your weddings,text me your first night experience and don't forget to text it in a coded way!"
After a week, the first daughter sent 'NESCAFE' inan sms 2 her mum while a week later, the second sent 'BENSON'. Their mum, as a 'soji woman' picked upa tin of Nescafe and read from d label "fantastic till dlast drop!" She also went to her husband's pack of Benson cigarettes and found written on it "Extra long, king size!" she thought aloud "not too badfor them at their age"
A few days later, her third daughter's text comes in,"Arik: Lagos - Kano!". So Mama calls Arik Air information desk to inquireabout their Kano to Lagos flight. She was told, "Its 3 times daily, 7 days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes to and fro!"
Mama throws herself in theair, lands, slumps and faints shouting..."Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo O! ( this one will kill my daughter!)"
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A drunk 18 year old boy asked a
married
woman out, the woman got
pissed &
told her husband..
The husband told her to invite the boy so
dat he can beat the hell out of
him.
The woman did what her
husband
requested as he was hidding under the bed...
When the boy got there, he
took off his t-
shirt and his body was full of
scars..this
made the woman to asked,"why have U so
many scars?"
The boy replied,"I my job is to
lay married
women & usually I get caught
so I kill the husbands, if someone shows up
now he
will be number 20 on my
murder list...The
boy continued, as
the woman tried to reach out her
husband under the bed, a small
voice
came up,"If U tell him am here,
U ll
see!!..
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